Dating Services Website

Archive for March, 2008

Dating is both an exciting and a frightening time in your life and online dating may ease your fears in some ways and create additional fears on other ways.

Meeting someone new and developing a relationship with them has a certain amount of risk whether the relationship starts online or in the real world. You may be one of the many that has given up the singles bars and similar real world meeting places because of time, the fear of being robbed, drugged or accosted in some other way.

Many online dating sites let anyone willing to pay their fees create a profile and it is a buyer beware environment. The profile might read exactly like someone you wish to get to know better and the relationship may start out perfectly but then it could go bad in a hurry once you give out your personal information.

Some of the things you need to watch out for are:

• Male and female scammers – These people are hoping to catch people when they are most vulnerable to con them out of their money.

• Sexual predators. – These people are looking to get you in a face-to-face real world meeting where they can satisfy their needs regardless of your desires.

• Deceivers – Married people that are looking for sex but no long term commitments. Some of these people can be very aggressive if they find the exact type of person they are seeking.

• Liars – These people will lie to you about who they are, what they do, their sexual history or any other thing they are ashamed of or trying to hide. If you don’t take the time and care to REALLY get to know someone, you may find yourself in an unwanted or dangerous situation.

The above list is by no means complete or exclusive to online dating. Online dating sites, by their design, often create an environment that makes it easier to hide flaws or hidden agendas for longer periods of time.

Real world dating carries many of the above risks plus the possibility of having your drink drugged, date rape, physical abuse, sexually transmitted diseases and more.

Everyone that’s old enough to date must use their head whether the origin of the relationship is in the real world or an online dating site because your safety is your first priority.

Online dating is a search for someone special and there are many things you can do right AND some you can do wrong that may lead to failure or a broken heart.

Success in life often requires you to be somewhat aggressive, requires you to demand a certain level of perfection and you must be willing to tell white lies on occasion. These 3 qualities might be necessary for success in the business world BUT they will quickly kill budding romances and even established relationships.

In relationships, confidence in yourself, your abilities and what you believe you have to offer a potential partner is important to both men and women. Trying to push too far too fast may be seen as sleazy, arrogant or aggressive to the point of being scary. A long term relationship is a business arrangement that is meant for life so patience is a MUST.

You wouldn’t enter into any business arrangement without due diligence and knowing what each member of the contract is expected to contribute. Why people want to rush into a long term relationship without getting to know your partner well enough to merge your separate lives makes no sense to me and it shouldn’t you either.

The ONLY way you will really get to know your potential mate is by talking to them about every possible subject, spending time with them and sharing your respective dreams.

You and everyone you know or will ever meet has one or more flaws. The courtship process should be long enough and varied enough that you both learn the flaws of the other so you can decide whether you can live with the flaws in each other.

Honesty starts with your profile and builds from there. If you put lies or outrageous claims in your profile, they WILL be discovered and any trust you’ve established will be destroyed.

Remember that aggressiveness, perfection and lies should never be part of your online dating efforts or your attempts at offline dating and you’ll have nothing to hide.

Too many men enter into online dating with the mindset that they are competing with other men for the attention of the females. Grow up!

You are an adult that’s no longer in high school so act like it. You are, hopefully, searching for a woman based on the reality of who you are rather than the strutting, preening and posturing kid you may have been in your youth.

Your current attitude, ethics and honesty are your assets. Like yourself, where you are in life and where you are headed with your dreams and share the REAL you and you’ll be more likely to attract a woman that’s interested in YOU and your goals.

No man knows what a woman wants so present the REAL you and let them decide. You’ll experience less stress and worry because you are confident in who you are.

Be real and expect the women you chat with to be real. NO ONE is perfect and you have no right to expect that of yourself or the women you encounter. If you do, you’ll both be disappointed.

If you aren’t a natural communicator, you’d better learn how to communicate effectively. You will not be able to let the women that interest you know who you are if you cannot handle honest communication in text and later by voice. If you try to be the “strong silent type” in online dating, you may come across as a guy that doesn’t have an original thought in your head.

A guy that can’t effectively communicate may respond to the woman he desires inappropriately, not at all or ineffectively which means he’s lost ANY chance at success with that woman. Do NOT act like a dunce if you are serious about finding a mate.

Let the woman that interests you see that you’re interesting and worth being with and that you are genuinely interested in them and their desires.

Find the woman you want to be with at the online dating site of your choice and do everything you can, within reason, to get to know her and let her get to know you.

Online dating is, by its nature, impersonal and anonymous so you need to engage in safe activities so you can get to know your potential mate before you meet.

Photo sharing – Create an online photo album that shows you engaging in activities you enjoy, shows your family, any pets you might have, your home, workplace, computer area and anything else that will give your partner set of visual glimpses into your life and personality. These photos will also give you something to talk about without the awkwardness that can happen when you are first learning about someone.

Greeting Cards – Start out by sending ecards that are meaningful and show you care about your growing friendship, the other person’s important milestones and their happiness. As your romance progresses, you might want to add offline cards to the mix because these show you are willing to expend the effort into the real world. Security should ALWAYS be considered, especially for women, so a Post Office box might be considered. Computer software is available that lets you make your own cards and this may be worth considering because the card you make can be personalized and it will have some of your personal touch to it.

Instant Messaging – This is a free and easy way to chat in real time without revealing your identity until you are ready. If you have a webcam, you can actually share video so you can see the person you are chatting with.

The above activities are just a few of the activities you can engage in before you decide whether you want to meet the person you met through online dating.

Online dating sites are popping up all over these days because many people, like you, either don’t have time or patience to do the traditional singles scene.

You now have a virtual smorgasbord of choices to choose from. There are:

• Free sites – The wrong free site can be a real nightmare get gets very expensive or very dangerous if you get suckered in by a scam artist.
• Paid sites – These may or may not be better than the free ones depending on the features you choose or need. Some of these are:
  • Chat
  • Instant Messaging
  • Internal Email
  • Profile matching
  • Background checks
  • Arranged meeting offline
  • Speed dating
  • Group get gatherings

Note: Not all paid sites offer all of the features mentioned above.

Many quality paid online dating sites let you create a free profile where you can access part or all of the features for a period before you decide to become a paid member. I highly recommend you take advantage of this with multiple paid sites so you can get a feel for what’s out there.

There are many special interest online dating sites that cater to specific niches too. Some of these are:

• outdoor enthusiasts
• couch potatoes
• religious
• non-religious
• gay/lesbians
• disabled dating
• BDSM
• Latina
• Ebony
• Many more

Almost every taste or desire is going to be catered to by one or more online dating sites.

You need to take into consideration a few things before deciding on a free or paid dating service.

1. Your budget – Online dating can get very expensive if you don’t create a budget before you start and have enough discipline to stick to it.
2. Features. Which features are the most important to you?

3. How much time are you willing to invest? Online dating can be very addictive because it is fun meeting new people and sifting through them to find the partner you are seeking.

Do your research, prepare your budget and game plan then pay for the membership or memberships that fit your plan and have fun. You can make online dating fun and pleasurable by being an informed consumer so start creating your free online dating profiles today.